


To Be Free

by dovespring



Series: bumps in your heart [2]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime)
Genre: Drama, Fluff, M/M, Sick Fic, working on healthy communication!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 01:39:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18729106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovespring/pseuds/dovespring
Summary: in which moomin gets sick as winter approaches





	To Be Free

**Author's Note:**

> *villager noises* it's one am and i just finished this so obviously i have to post it immediately. this is a squeal to my other fic, To Build A Home. you don't... necessarily *have* to have read it to read this? basically moomin built a home for him but then realized he also built it for snufkin!
> 
> this isn't beta read, again. i read through it a dozen times, but i'm sure i'll come back and find mistakes lmao

To have gone from living on your own, moving one place to the next, suddenly having a home...it was overwhelming. Thankfully, Moomin was beyond understanding and patient. Snufkin considered himself very lucky to have such a Moomintroll like him. Keeping busy helped Snufkin shake his darker feelings, and for the first few months they focused on building furniture together, adding to their home in little ways until he started to feel more at ease. Still, there were days Snufkin got so overwhelmed he fled without a word, returning home a day later and feeling guilty when he found Moomin waiting up for him, looking exhausted, but relieved.

That's when Moomin, his sweet dove, surprised him by setting up his tent near the shed, reassuring Snufkin it was perfectly alright if he wanted to be alone. All Moomin asked for was a warning when he planned to take off for more than a day, and how could he deny him that?

“You've matured so much, my dear.” Snufkin said fondly, cupping Moomin's snout and nuzzling against him.

Moomin cleared his throat and reached up to put his paw over Snufkin's hand, intertwining their fingers. “Yeah, well...I've learned it doesn't work to keep someone caged in. If you truly love someone you should let them be free.” He murmured, shuffling closer.

“Ah, so you love me then?” Snufkin couldn't help but tease, giving Moomin a light kiss. “I love you too.” He said seriously, meeting his gaze. “I may enjoy my freedom, but, Moomin, you know I won't abandon you, right?”

It concerned Snufkin how hesitant Moomin was to agree. Did he truly think he'd vanish one day, never to be seen again? Perhaps it would've been in character many springs ago, but now...even the thought of being away from his sweet Moomin for long made his heart ache.

Snufkin mused over his complimented thoughts as autumn approached, spending a lot of time indoors with Moomin, not minding how clingy the troll got as winter slowly but surely approached. While Snufkin’s usual excitement to travel was there, he was also…apprehensive. Moomin would be on his own throughout the winter, what if he awoke from hibernation early again?

It frightened Snufkin when he considered staying, disappearing one night to hide in his tent. He always left for winter...had he really let Moomin change him that much? No, that wasn't fair. While Moomin had surely played a part in this change, most of it was on himself. Snufkin had let himself have a home, let himself fall for someone he held very close to his heart. Moomin...he never got tired waking to the sight of him, never got tired of their conversations, and, surprisingly, never got tired of their shared affections. Thinking of Moomin made Snufkin feel so light headed and...and free.

“Snufkin?” Moomin asked sleepily when he snuck back inside.

“It's nothing, my dove. Go back to sleep.” Snufkin said softly, kicking off his boots before crawling back onto their bed.

Moomin eyed him for a long moment before he hummed and cuddled close, curling up in Snufkin's arms. Snufkin stayed up for a long while, petting the back of Moomin's fuzzy head and listening to his soft snores.

Winter finally arrived a few weeks later, marked by a light flurry. Snufkin was slow to pack his things, shooting concerned looks to Moomin. Something wasn't right about the troll, and it was more than just his usual sadness when Snufkin would leave for winter.

“...You're sure you'll be alright, Moomin?” He asked for the dozenth time, finally done packing.

It seemed to take Moomin a moment to register his words, but when he did he huffed and crossed his arms. “I'm sure, Snufkin! Go, travel and bring back lots of exciting stories, alright? I'll be okay, I don't plan on waking up from hibernation this year.”

“Dear, you didn't plan on waking last year.” Snufkin pointed out, lifting his pack onto his back with ease. “I'll be back the first day of spring, maybe even a little early.” He said, still concerned.

Moomin softened, “Take your time, Snuf. I’ll be here.” He promised, reaching out to cup Snufkin's cheek. “I love you.” He said shyly.

Snufkin smiled brightly, waiting for Moomin to tilt his head before leaning in for a kiss. “I love you too. Sleep well.” He said, reluctantly pulling away.

Perhaps not for the first time, but feeling it more strongly this year, it pained Snufkin to leave Moominvalley. Something didn't feel right. Moomin had been so...out of it the last few days, spacey and quiet. Maybe he could try writing it off as his sadness to see Snufkin go, but there was a heavy feeling in his gut telling him there was something more going on.

Snufkin managed to travel for two days before the feeling became too much, and he pulled out his cards, hands shaking as he laid them out.

“Oh dear.” He breathed when the cards advise he postpone his trip and return home. The cards never did him wrong, and Snufkin packed up immediately.

Cutting through all sorts of shortcuts and not stopping even as it grew dark, Snufkin was able to make it back the next day. Moominvalley was still and quiet, but as he approached home he noticed their bedroom lit up. He hurried inside, tossing his pack aside carelessly before heading upstairs, needing to see Moomin that instant.

“Moomin?” Snufkin asked quietly as he pushed open the bedroom door, shivering at how cold it was. A lantern was knocked to the floor on its side, and there beside it was Moomin.

“Moomin!” Snufkin cried, hurrying over. He carefully rolled Moomin onto his side, relieved to find he was breathing, but his relief was short lived when he realized how labored it was.

Vision blurry with unshed tears he refused to acknowledge, Snufkin managed to scoop the troll up and bring him to the bed, laying him atop their various blankets. Not only was his breathing labored, he was also burning up.

“This is why you were so out of it! You're sick! Silly Moomintroll, you should've just told me!” Snufkin rambled, stressed and worried.

What to do? He thought of the time Moominmamma had looked after him when he was sick, hurrying downstairs to fill a basin with cool water. Snufkin grabbed a cloth before carefully waddling up the stairs, carrying the basin all the way to the bedside. Did he tuck Moomin in or leave him as is? He decided to cover him with one of their thinner blankets, then got to dipping the cloth into the basin and wringing it out. Snufkin carefully laid it over Moomin's forehead, watching him shake and shiver.

Snufkin found that he too was shaking, staring down at his trembling hands and trying to calm his racing heart. What would've happened if Snufkin ignored the dread in his gut? What if he had kept going? Would he have come back in the spring to find Moomin…to find him...

“Ugh!” He growled loudly, reaching up to grip his messy hair. He had to calm down.

“Snuf...kin?”

“Moomin!” Snufkin gasped, looking up to find the troll blinking slowly, face flushed. “I'm here, darling. Rest, okay? I'll take care of you.” He promised, reaching out to grip Moomin's paw.

Moomin managed a small smile before his eyes closed again, and he slipped away. Snufkin breathed out slowly, feeling more grounded. He would take care of the troll, no matter what.

Snufkin thought back to the awful tasting potion Moominmamma had spoon-fed him while he was sick. Despite its awful taste, and how it made his stomach hurt, he was fit as a fiddle the very next day. Surely she'd have more on hand, right? Snufkin just had to make a quick trip to Moominhouse!

“I'll be back, my love.” Snufkin said softly, making sure Moomin was tucked in securely before he stepped back, reluctant.

Finally, after wringing out the cloth out once more, he was able to force himself to leave the room, hurrying downstairs. Snufkin pulled the front door open only to gasp and reach up to grip his hat, winter wind threatening to blow it away. He was distressed to find a blizzard had swept in, making it near impossible to see.

Taking a deep breath, Snufkin stepped out. He managed to tug the door closed, wincing as the harsh winds whipped at his face. This was fine. Snufkin had made the trek to Moominhouse house plenty of times, he knew the way like the back of his harmonica! Determined, he began walking. The winds really were harsh, making him sway and nearly topple over with each step.

After struggling through the growing snow for ten minutes, Snufkin knew he had made a mistake. He should be at Moominhouse by now, even with the weather slowing him down. Snufkin came to a stop, looking around and realizing he didn't know which way he had come from. All around him was darkness, the wind and snow covering any sort of tracks he might have left. Snufkin had to keep going, Moomin needed him, but which direction? Snufkin turned and forced himself to keep going, shivering wildly.

He didn't make it much further before he collapsed to his knees, exhausted and so very cold. Snufkin barely looked up when his hat was swept away by the wind, hugging himself tighter and hunching over, noticing that he had stopped shivering. He was so drained he didn't notice an approaching light.

“Snufkin!”

Was that…? It couldn't be, she was supposed to be hibernating.

“Little My, hurry.” An unknown voice urged.

The small aggravated shape of his sister came into view, a worried scowl on her face as she slung a thick blanket over Snufkin's shoulders.

“What in the world are you doing here! You're supposed to be gone by now, idiot!” Little My hissed, crawling up onto his shoulder, burrowing under the blanket as well, only her head peeking out.

“Let's get you home.”

Snufkin looked up, blinking at the stranger, “Ah, Too-Ticky, yes?” He asked through chattering teeth.

Too-Ticky smiled kindly, helping him up. “That would be me, and you're Snufkin. Moomin is always going on about you-”

“Moomin!” Snufkin gasped, knowing he'd feel sorry later for interrupting her. “He's sick! I need to get to Moominhouse, Mamma has a potion that'll help!”

“I see.” Too-Ticky said sagely, “I'll get you home first, then I'll go fetch it. You're going to freeze if you're out here much longer.”

Snufkin swayed on his feet, having to lean into her for support, “Alright.” He said, conceding that she was right.

“You're very lucky Little My ran to get me.” She said conversationally, holding a lantern with one hand and using the other to help guide Snufkin along.

“How _did_ you know I needed help, Little My?” Snufkin asked, brows furrowed.

Little My sniffed, turning her nose up at him, “You're not a big sister, you wouldn't understand.”

Snufkin decided not to question her. Honestly, he was too tired. Too-Ticky kept him upright for the trek back, seeming to know her way around just fine. Soon enough home came into view, giving Snufkin one last burst of energy. He threw himself against the front door, stumbling in.

“Moomin.” He murmured, letting the heavy blanket fall from his shoulders as he made it up the stairs, focused on getting to his Moomintroll.

Little My was complaining in his ear with a barely concealed concerned tone, but Snufkin was too focused on dragging himself down the hallway, pushing open their bedroom door. He heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing Moomin, then promptly passed out.

·

When Moomin got sick weeks before Snufkin was due to leave for winter, he stubbornly ignored it. He didn't want to waste his time resting in bed when he could be out exploring! Besides, he didn't want to worry Snufkin.

Unfortunately, Snufkin was a lot like his older sister, Little My. You couldn't hide anything from him. Thankfully he assumed it was Moomin's normal sadness at having to watch him leave for winter.

He felt guilty sending Snufkin off when he was so obviously worried, but Moomin didn't want to make him feel tied down. Oh, he'd feel badly if Snufkin stayed in Moominvalley over something silly like a little cold.

...Maybe it wasn't as little as Moomin tried to believe. He began to burn up after Snufkin left, very light headed and out of it. Moomin decided he needed to go to Moominhouse and get some of Mamma’s cure all potion, knowing he'd be right as rain afterwards.

Moomin got up, grabbing the lantern he had sitting on the nightstand. He barely made it two steps before he became dizzy, vision going black around the edges as he fell to the floor.

The next thing he knew he was back on the bed, a cool cloth on his forehead. A loud growl had awoken him, and he blinked sluggishly at the sight of Snufkin, obviously upset over something. He opened his mouth to ask what he was doing home, but only managed to say his name. Moomin slipped back into unconsciousness, Snufkin's concerned face the last thing he saw.

The next time he awoke, he was feeling much more alert. There was a low light in the room, coming from a lantern hanging on a hook near the door. He sat up slowly, confused. Next to him was Snufkin, curled up and clutching his tail. Moomin blinked, carefully pulling his tail away and watching Snufkin's brows furrow in distress. He took the other's hand instead, relieved when his face smoothed back out.

“You're awake, Moomin? Good. I wasn't sure how much of the potion I was to give you. I didn't want to disturb Moominmamma and worry her.”

Moomin startled, looking over to find Too-Ticky peeking her head in through the door. “Too-Ticky? What happened?” He asked, quiet, so he wouldn't disturb Snufkin.

Too-Ticky stepped in, carrying a tray with two bowls of soup on it. “Well, from what I can gather, Snufkin came home to find you sick. He wanted to go to Moominhouse and get the potion, but got lost in the blizzard. Thankfully, Little My ran and got me.” She answered softly, setting the tray on the nightstand.

“Oh.” Moomin said, a loss of what to say. That was certainly a lot to process. “Snufkin came home…?”

“Hmm,” Too-Ticky nodded, “Why did he leave in the first place if you were so sick?”

Moomin felt his cheeks burn in guilt, staring down at his lap, “I didn't tell him. He always leaves in the winter, I was worried he'd grow to resent me if he had to stay.”

“Moomin...you really think that of me?”

He startled, looking over to find Snufkin was awake, and looking very hurt. “Snufkin! No! I-I mean... I don't know.” He said, ashamed. Too-Ticky crept out of the room then, but neither of them noticed.

“I care about you, Moomin. I _love_ you. I wish you had told me you were sick.” Snufkin said, sitting up and tightening his hold on Moomin's paw.

“Oh, Snufkin!” He hiccuped, beginning to cry, “I'm sorry. I thought I was doing what's best. If you love someone you should let them be free, right?”

Snufkin let out a frustrated growl, letting go of Moomin's paw in order to cup his snout and force him to meet his gaze. “Moomin, my dove, my silly troll, _you_ make me feel free. You've given me more freedom than you'll ever know.”

Moomin was stunned, eyes wide and wet with tears. He felt dizzy again, but not because he was sick. “Snuf, I love you!” He breathed, throwing himself against the other. “I'm sorry, I didn't realize.”

“It's alright, dear. I should've been more clear. From now on let's tell each other what we mean, alright? No secrets either, not when it concerns your health, okay?” Snufkin's voice was so gentle and fond, it made Moomin want to melt into a small puddle.

“I promise.” Moomin murmured against Snufkin's shoulder, still clinging. “Oh! Snufkin, it's properly winter, now. Are you okay being home?” He asked worriedly, pulling away a bit to look up at him.

Snufkin pet the back of his head and smiled, “I'm more than okay. My travels can wait, I'd rather be here with you, my dove.”

Moomin smiled brightly, leaning up to give him a kiss, Snufkin happily returning it.

·

“Think they've kissed and made up, yet?” Little My huffed, finishing off her second bowl of soup.

“Most likely.” Too-Ticky said, smiling. “I think I'll be off, now. Would you like me to escort you back home?” She asked kindly, standing and grabbing her coat that she had left draped over the back of the chair.

“No that's okay, there's a bedroom here I can sleep in. Would you stop by and tell Mymble I'm staying here?” She asked, hopping off her own chair. Little My would feel better staying, just in case her brother did something stupid again.

Too-Ticky perked up at the mention of Mymble, quickly trying to play it off when Little My sent her an impish grin. “Of course. Have a nice hibernation, you know where I'll be if you need anything.” She said easily, fastening up her coat before opening the front door.

Little My watched her go before she sighed and crept upstairs, keeping as quiet as a mouse until she was at the end of the hall, peeking into the keyhole. Inside Moomin and Snufkin were eating their bowls of soup, gazing at each other lovingly. Idiots, Little My thought fondly. She pulled away and entered the bedroom she had loudly dubbed hers, already feeling tiredness seeping into her bones. Time for, hopefully, an uninterrupted hibernation.

**Author's Note:**

> little my, bolting awaks from hibernation as her big sister senses go off: oh shit oh fuck
> 
> come talk to me about snufmin on my tumblr: dovespring! 
> 
> also i have yet another sequal planned, expect that sometime next week!


End file.
